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There are 'no perfect words' for talking to kids about mass shootings, child psychiatrist says

TOPSHOT - Families hug outside the Willie de Leon Civic Center where grief counseling will be offered in Uvalde, Texas, on May 24, 2022. - A teenage gunman killed 18 young children in a shooting at an elementary school in Texas on Tuesday, in the deadliest US school shooting in years. The attack in Uvalde, Texas -- a small community about an hour from the Mexican border -- is the latest in a spree of deadly shootings in America, where horror at the cycle of gun violence has failed to spur action to end it. (Photo by allison dinner / AFP) (Photo by ALLISON DINNER/AFP via Getty Images)
Allison Dinner
/
AFP via Getty Images
Families hug outside the Willie de Leon Civic Center in Uvalde, Texas, on May 24, 2022. Grief counseling was being offered at the center.

Tuesday's mass shooting at a Texas elementary school 鈥 where a gunman killed 19 children and two adults, and injured many more 鈥 has become the deadliest event of gun violence in the U.S. so far this year.

Dr. Javeed Sukhera, chair of psychiatry at the Institute of Living and chief of the department of psychiatry at Hartford Hospital, wants to remind people to take time for themselves in processing the attack.

鈥淲e can鈥檛 pretend like every day is a regular day when these horrible things continue to happen, and when people are continuing to heal from the trauma of the previous thing,鈥 he said.

Sukhera said recent events can be especially sensitive for 海角换妻 communities that feel the echo of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012.

鈥淪ome people are going to shut down, some people are going to start going into hyperdrive, going through the motions even quicker, because there鈥檚 also no 鈥榦ne-size-fits-all鈥 when it comes to coping,鈥 he said.

Experts say traumatic events like the Texas shooting can cause confusion and fear among children, even those experiencing it from afar.

鈥淎ll we can do as adults is to remind our kids that we love them, that they鈥檙e OK and that they鈥檙e safe,鈥 Sukhera said, 鈥渁nd that we鈥檙e here, we鈥檙e present if and when they need us.鈥

Sukhera, who specializes in child psychiatry, said kids will process the mass shooting in different ways.

鈥淚t can be really scary sometimes as adults to try and find the words, so the best thing we can do is to free ourselves of that burden, to remember that there are no perfect words,鈥 he said. 鈥淚f we create the space, our kids can actually take the lead and let us know where they鈥檙e at and what they want to talk about.鈥

Resources for families

Families can find more guidance on helping children cope at the and other health organizations.

AACAP offers these resources:

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network

  • Start the conversation. 鈥淭alk about the shooting with your child. Not talking about it can make the event even more threatening in your child鈥檚 mind. Silence suggests that what has occurred is too horrible even to speak about or that you do not know what has happened.鈥
  • What does your child already know? 鈥淪tart by asking what your child/teen already has heard about the events from the media and from friends. Listen carefully; try to figure out what [they know or believe]. As your child explains, listen for misinformation, misconceptions, and underlying fears or concerns.鈥
  • Gently correct inaccurate information. 鈥滻f your child/teen has inaccurate information or misconceptions, take time to provide the correct information in simple, clear, age-appropriate language.鈥
  • Limit media exposure. 鈥淟imit your child鈥檚 exposure to media images and sounds of the shooting.鈥
Nicole Leonard joined 海角换妻 Radio to cover health care after several years of reporting for newspapers. In her native state of New Jersey, she covered medical and behavioral health care, as well as arts and culture, for The Press of Atlantic City. Her work on stories about domestic violence and childhood food insecurity won awards from the New Jersey Press Association.

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